I get a lot of correspondence from
wives who are struggling to understand more about their husband's affair.
Mostly, they are struggling to figure out why he would do such a thing and
where they go from here. I recently heard from a wife who said "I really
need help understanding my husband's affair. I've tried several times to talk
to him about this but the answers that he gives me don't really help and they
leave me with more questions than answers. I just can not understand why he
would do this to us. He's never given me any indication that he wasn't happy
with our marriage SharekAlomre.com or
unsatisfied with our sex life. And then out of the blue, I find out that he's
been sleeping with a
woman from our church of all places. I just can not understand it at all. We
were happy. I did everything I could to be a good wife and meet his needs but
apparently this wasn't enough. Sometimes I get so angry with him and I demand
that he help me understand this, but then he gets just as frustrated and says
that he doesn't have any answers for me because he doesn't understand it
either. What now?"
This is such a common issue. So
many of us wives feel like if we could just begin to understand the "whys"
of her husband's affair, then we just might be able to begin to heal. But the
answers still allude us. On my blog, I hear from and get insights from a lot of
men who have cheated and had affairs but who are now trying to save their
marriages. Arabiandate I believe this gives me some insight as to why
infidelity happens and what a man's thought process is from the beginning to
the end. I'll share some of these insights with you in the hopes that it at
least helps to give you some new understanding and insights about the affair.
First, Understand That It Might Be
Difficult For You To Grasp A Series Of Events That You Yourself Would Never
Follow: Before I tell you why I believe men cheat and what their motivations
are, I want you to know that afterward, it still might all feel or sound very
foreign to you. It's very hard to feel any understanding at all for actions
that you yourself would never take. I would never cheat on my husband no matter
how unhappy I was or how unfulfilled I felt. That possibility would never enter
my mind. Instead, I would sit my husband down and share my concerns RussianBrides.com with him in
the hopes that we could fix things before any one felt the need to cheat or to
go outside of our marriage. And, if we could not reach a resolution, I would
divorce my husband before I ever allowed myself to be intimate with any one
else.
Many of the wives who I dialog with
agree with me completely on this. And that's why it's very hard for us to
understand it when our husbands try to help us make sense of their affair. This
reasoning still falls flat with us because we could never understand that motivation
when we'd never feel the same way. We might concede that there were
vulnerabilities in our marriage or that our husband was struggling in some way.
But none of these could ever justify cheating in our minds, which is why the
answers allude us.
I bring this to your attention
because I want you to consider that you may have to vow to step outside of
yourself and your own way of thinking if you truly want to begin to understand
your husband's affair. And, even then, you may still have some questions.
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