From the correspondence that I get, I find that there is a perception that a man who is cheating on his wife will stop having sex with her. I sometimes get letters from "the other woman" asking me if she should believe a husband who claims that he isn't being intimate with his wife anymore. I'm not sure why, but this is often very important to her. She might say: "the guy that I have been seeing has told me that he didn't sleep dilmil.co with his wife for six months before he met me and that he hasn't been sleeping with her since we got together. They have kids, which is the only reason he stays. However, I have a friend who is also friends with his wife. And she says that she would not be surprised if they are still having sex because they both act normally and somewhat affectionately when they are together. She said she just saw them holding hands walking around the neighborhood. Could he by lying to me?"
Along that same line of thinking, a
wife might suspect her husband of cheating but ultimately may decide that he
probably is not because their sex life is still active and still pretty good.
She might assume that because the husband is getting good and frequent sex at
home, then she has nothing to worry about in the infidelity department. She
might say: "my husband has been away from home much more than usual
lately. He works late. dilmil He goes
out. He takes more phone calls than usual and takes them where I can't hear
what he is saying. I would suspect him of cheating except for the fact that we
are still having some pretty good sex."
From my observation and experience,
these assumptions are not always correct. Many men who have affairs do continue
to have sex with their wives without anything changing or seeming to be amiss.
In fact, sometimes the sex is more frequent or even better while he is having
the affair. He can do this as to not arouse suspicion or he can do it because
he is still invested in his marriage and still very attracted to his wife.
In fact, it's my opinion that most
men never did have any intention of leaving their wife and still do not while
the affair is active. So for them, nothing is going to change. And because of
this, there's no reason to stop having sex. Sure, they very convincingly tell
the other woman that they want to or are going to leave. They will tell her
that they are married in name only and that they haven't been intimate in
years. They tell her these things even when they are not true because they want
to make it easier for her to cheat. They don't want for her to identify with
the wife or to realize that she's in a relationship with no real future.
Frankly, it is not fair to the
other woman. It is lies that are being told to her. But this scenario is very
common and many "other women" eventually put two and two together and
realize that they are being lied to. And many wives eventually find evidence of
the cheating and have dilmil.co review to face
reality even when their sex life still appears to be active and wonderful.
So the answer to the question is
that yes, man very often continue having meaningful and good sex with their
spouses while they are actively having an affair. It is wrong. And it confuses
matters. And often, the wife and the other woman do not understand this because
women are less likely to be able to comprehend how you can be having sex with
two people.
I really don't have a definitive
answer about this because I could not carry this out either. When I love
someone, I could never be unfaithful. But obviously, as a woman, I do not think
and act like a man. From the correspondence that I get, it seems pretty clear,
at least to me, that men are much better at being about to separate the two
relationships and compartmentalize their feelings and their thoughts. If I were
the one having an affair, I would be so crippled by conflict and guilt, but
some men are able to juggle it pretty convincingly.
Again, this is only my opinion, but
if I were dating a married man and he told me he wasn't having sex with his
wife, I would have serious doubts about this. From my observation, most of the
time, this just is not true. Two people under one roof and in one bed with a
shared commitment are most likely having sex. Many men tell the other woman
they sleep on the couch or spare bedroom. This often isn't true, either.
And many wives want to believe that
as long as she's having sex with him, then he doesn't need to seek it
elsewhere. The truth is, he is getting a different pay off from this than just
sex. He is often using the affair as a way to feel better about himself. Sex
often has much less to do with it than people think.
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