One of the most persuasive problems that couples have when trying to reconcile after a husband's affair is the wife believing dilmil.co that he truly still loves her and wants to be with her. This can be particularly true if he made claims to be "in love" with the other woman.
Sometimes, the other woman will
make this claim (while the husband denies it) and the wife will desperately
want to believe that it isn't even close to being the truth. Someone might ask:
"do married men ever tell the other woman that they are in love with her?
The other woman my husband cheated with is telling me that he told her that
he'd never loved anymore more than he loves her. I find this a little hard to
believe. I come from a culture where the mistress was sort of disrespected and
every one knew that it was only about sex. People generally believed that a man
loves his wife, but he lusts after his mistress. In my mind's eye, I pictured
my husband having sex with her without much conversation and without exchanging
words about their feelings. But she insists that this is not true. She insists
that he told her that he loved her almost every time that they were together.
Of course, she has no proof of this whatsoever. So that makes me not believe
her even more. And my husband denies ever expressing feelings of love for her.
I want to save my marriage, but I am not sure that I am going to be able to if I
believe he actually loved her. The affair is over. He has been with me pretty
much every waking moment since I found out about it, so I do believe that he
has broken it off and perhaps her whole 'love' claims are because she's trying dilmil to split
us up so she can have him. But it makes me curious if married men tell the
other woman that they love her."
Men Can Express Love For Various
Deceptive Reasons: From the correspondence that I get, it is pretty clear that
in some instances, yes, this claim is made. I think that the reasons why a
husband makes this claim can certainly vary. Some men are dealing with a woman
who isn't going to carry out the affair unless she believes that he loves her
and that they are going to have a future. (And so he tells her what she wants
to hear.) Other men may truly believe that they are in love with her in that
moment in time, but then quickly change their minds when they dilmil.co review are faced
with the prospect of losing their marriages.
Putting It In Perspective: I know
that what I am about to say may seem insensitive and I don't intend for it to
come out that way. But think for a second about what really matters. Your
husband has made no attempt to see her and he seems perfectly content to end
the affair and move on with his marriage. Does this sound like a man who is
desperately in love with the other woman?
If he loved her that much, he would
have refused to end the affair and would still actively be in that
relationship. But this is not the case. He chose you. And he chose to break
things off with her abruptly and completely. This is not the behavior of a man
who is deeply in love with another woman.
And I am not defending the behavior
of your husband or any man who cheats. I know first hand just how hurtful and
devastating that behavior is. At the same time though, I do believe that most
men are telling the other woman what he thinks she wants to hear.
Why An Affair Doesn't Meet The
Criteria For A 'Loving' Relationship: A relationship based on lies and secrets
can't be a very loving relationship, by definition alone. Most of the time, the
other woman desperately wants to believe that she is loved because it makes the
whole thing easier for her. I'm not saying that she's lying. He may have told
her that he loved her. But his behavior right now does not indicate that he
does.
We all know that truly loving
relationships are built over time. They require honestly, loyalty, and truth.
They often come about gradually and they mature as the couple weathers storms
together. Most of the time, an affair does not meet this criteria. It is a
short term thing that generally happens when a man is struggling emotionally
and therefore has nothing emotional to give to the other woman. It may make her
feel better to think he loves her. But the fact that he keeps her a secret,
gives her scraps of his time, and usually drops her the second his wife finds out
is not very indicate of true love.
So yes, married men do sometimes
tell the other woman that he loves her. But certainly, not all of them mean it.
Many say it just to make things seem easier from a moral point of view. And
they quickly back away from this view once they have been caught or once enough
time passes so they can see their feelings a little more clearly.
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